Letters to Jesus – Kasey Hill Author © 2015

Letters to Jesus (not Christian just fiction) excerpt 2

January 3, 2016 4 Comments

Dear Lord
Again, I came to you with my heart yearning for your love. I feel even more empty, even more cold. The waving rays of light from the sun do not feel my soul with happiness or warmth. Countless times I have beeged you to answer me, to show the way. The orad of faith is dark and the only light comes from within me… it’s been growing more and more faint each day.

Save me from this bottomless pit of dank, dark depression. I want to be me again, to feel love, to laugh, but I can’t. If you would just tell me how, tell me how to walk without fear, everything will be better.

If I hear another “footprints in the sand” reference, I might snap. IF you truly walked with us, then why are there suicides when things become to rough to bear? So many thoughts rush through my mind and I’m not afraid to place them on you. My faith is not shaken my faith is questionable, as all facets of life are.

In my opinion, belief in you or God really doesn’t control my afterlife. I do. You taught me the world is full of people who will never understand individuals. Church is for those people, not for me. I realized going into to church makes me one of the people who condemned you. They meet publicly, not privately. Their temple is the church, mine is my soul. I know that, but do i have to really believe in something that never calls, never answers, and never gives me the satisfaction of existing or not.

No, I make my own decisions as of now, and right now, I decide to just question you each and every day. I will tell you what I have found to disprove your existence.

Yours Truly
Daughter Alone

PS If you loved me, you’d stop me

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Letters to Jesus (not Christian just fiction)

December 24, 2015 No Comments

Dear Lord,

I needed you today. I prayed to you, to God, but…nothing happened. Being alive isn’t enough to prove your existence. I went through so much this past week. Dealing with losing someone isn’t easy for us humans. I read the comfort of John in the bible but still felt empty…cold…alone. I try to keep my faith, to hold onto my morals, but the deafening silence to my prayers leaves me shattered and incomplete. I don’t feel the Holy Spirit as I should…just as when I was baptized all I felt was the water. I didn’t feel clean, no reprieve a victim of church. They don’t teach you, they just speak of you and your trials and tribulations.

They think they know you inside and out, but they are as clueless as I am. Do they have conversations with you? No, they speak to you and the thoughts that enter their free thinking mind they believe to be your voice. Could it be that Mary and Mary were so distraught, so drunken from the night before, that they convinced each other of your rising from the grave? Who’s to say you body wasn’t stolen and desecrated or mummified and hidden?

People looked alike, who’s to say when you appeared you weren’t just someone else playing a rouse, one of your devout followers? No one will know for certain, they just “have their faith” that it’s true.

But what if it’s not?

Yours Truly,

Daughter of Christ

P.S. I’m not sure how much longer I can believe in someone who doesn’t answer my prayers. I believed in Santa Clause and now look..don’t let my faith falter, Father.